here i stand...rough times.

well. well. well. before i say anything. i suggest you go and get usher's new album. Here I Stand. in my opinion its pretty dope. well i dont know maybe cause it makes me think. but anyways.


yesterday, Monday, May 26th marked a very very very low point for me. ummm..i really dont want to talk about it. it just really hit me. i wish i didnt take people for granted. i mean i had what a lot of people wish they had. and i just wish i could take it back some of the things i did and didnt do. but i can't really do anything about it for now. hopefully it works out for the best. if it was meant to happen, then it will happen. but the "show" must go on. i could not focus at all whatsoever and i had homework and an essay to do. had those occasional breakdowns and what not. for some reason i happened to be watching 'american gladiators' on MTV and one of 'the leak' commercials showed that they were featuring usher's new album, Here I Stand. I listened to that for awhile. watched some tv. and did homework all at the same time. pretty much stared my essay at around 11ish and got through the first 2 paragraphs and decided i wasnt able to think straight and just went to bed.

cried to sleep.
thats right, i said it. i cried to sleep.


Tuesday, May 27, 2008
sleep was good for me i guess. i set my alarm at 3:45 to start working on my paper again. when it rang. i snoozed it a couple of times. then i woke up thinking i was late for school, but it was just 5:45 AM. i realized my paper still needed to be done. pretty much total BS. i finished, and showered. bummy mood. went to 0 period. the usual. first and second period. ehh usual. nutrition came. and i dont know. it may seem i have nothing wrong. but to be honest. im dying inside. pretty much felt like the day was never-ending. 3rd period, boring usual. 4th period brought some joy because i found out i got a 94.9% on my research paper and a 94.48% in the class. turned in my paper. when class ended i met up with allen and kevin. waited for them to get their spirit points. started to walk to my car but i realized that me and kathleen didn't take our '1 picture everyday until i graduate' so i took the picture and just went home. played a game of 2k8 and then started to make a confirmation gift for the confirmees, anna and jackie. congratulations. i then got ready for my interview at baskin and robbins which was at 3:30. dropped off the gift and ended up with money from the confirmees, katrina, and kathleen to get jamba juice after my interview. my interview went very well. i was expecting jitters since it was my first 1on1 interview and all. i got the job! soo over the summer. come by, at baskin and robbins (or 31 flavors) as some call it, near carl's jr. went to jamba juice and all, got the stuff. went to practice and dropped it off. hung around for awhile with jethro and his 'waveboard'. pretty hard stuff. watched the boys play some freestyle duck, duck, goose. decided to meet up with allen and kevin at kevin's house as they were shooting a commercial or something like that for WAK cookies. its an economics project... hahah but anyways. there was some mix-up and kevin's grandma thought kevin wasn't home and that me and allen were causing a ruckus. but eventually me and allen started to play nba 2k8 on xbox 360. yeaah. i kicked allen's ass. blaming derek fisher for not making his 3s. beat him with the orlando magic. he challenged me to another rematch. i chose the boston celtics and his lakers again. it was a back and forth game. tied at 61-61 in the final seconds and gave the ball to ray allen. BUZZER BEATER win. word. 63-61. hahah then watched the first half of the laker game with allen as kevin was 'doing his video project'. brother called and asked me to buy him ruffles as i was on my way home and taking allen home. bought the ruffles at vons. pretty expensive. $3.79?! ridiculous, as allen would state it. but then i took allen home. came home. watched some of the game. then my brother tells me to get an 'easy' button such as the ones shown on the staples commercials. i went to the new one near target, thinking that it was open. it wasnt. haha. then called my brother and asked where the nearest staples was. and it was the one on azusa near AMC. and it was 830. afraid i wasnt going to make it. sped there while i listened to the laker game on the radio. as soon as i got to the parking lot of staples. the spurs began to make a run with 56 seconds left! and so i stayed in the car at around 8:53 to finish the game. YEAH! lakers! 3-1. spurs are done. jethro, get ready for that dollar youre gonna owe me. :] but anyways as soon as the game ended, i rushed into staples, and bought the easy button. the manager guy was starting to close up as i was getting ringed up for the button. good thing i didnt wait too long to go inside. ahaha. anyways. drove home. watched some laker highlights and started to do some spanish hw. i was talking to cedric at the time and he told me tomorrow was wednesday and that he didnt have to do his paper till thursday. and i was like oh shit. i don have to do this shit yet. so i stopped. and then i did some math hw. and now im writing this. started to breakdown a bit. but. yeah. alright. sorry i dont have any picture taking devices to make this seem more epic. but yeah. its just a big box of text. hope you dont mind reading.